Why life has to be that way?

Every day when I get up I feel useless and I could say it in capital letters: USELESS. All I do is wake up, clean my face, brush my hair and get dressed to go to school and all this in 30 minutes because I won’t wake up earlier and I don’t want to lose the bus either.

In school I feel useless too because all is so automatic: teacher talks and I take notes. This is all I do. And when I go home I study everything we do in class and I do my homework. I don’t know but this year seems to me the best year, maybe because it is the last and we feel more trust with teachers. I feel this year very stressful too, I have no time to have a life, meet friends, be with my boyfriend or with my family, when they want to do something different I came up and I say I can’t because I have to study. So much stress and pressure is ruining my life.

Whatever, the bad point of this year is the research project and the PAU’s exam. OMG. Well, I already passed the research project and I’m very happy for that but now come what worries me more: the disgusting exam of Selectivitat. Why it has to be that way? I don’t want eight exams in three days about all we are doing this year… I just want to finish, go on holidays in Croatia and, in September, start my degree in Biotechnology.

I’m not that kind of girl that studies very much and has good grades, I don’t study as much as people think. All I do is read and if I don’t get it at first I read it twice. And my grades could be better, but I’m also a lazy person and my motivation comes once a year. All this writing is because I feel useless and this is personal. I do want to have better marks, study more and be more organized but I just can’t,  I’m so distracted this year and I don’t allow it, the mark I need is more than a 10 and it requires effort and planning.